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rainbow_day_glo
03 December 2009 @ 08:52 pm
I've been sooo depressed lately.
I slept for 15 hours today.
I've been missing school.
I wasted all of my money by trying to feel better through shopping.
I hardly have any money left and it's the beginning of the month.
I haven't been eating properly.
I thought I was on top of things by going to school, doing work, reading, painting, writing poetry, cleaning, working on music and modeling.
What the fuck happened?
How could I be so weak...
I just want to die.
Nothing I seem to do manages to work.
I always end up feeling depressed and wanting to die.
I don't see a point anymore.

I don't want to study for exams...I don't want to do anything...I'm not going anywhere with anything...I've been trying so hard...

HEY SHUT UP!
YOU'VE GOT THIS FAR!
DON'T GIVE UP!
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER SOON!
FINISH YOUR CO-OP PROJECT TONIGHT AND GO TO SCHOOL ON TIME TOMORROW AND YOU'LL FEEL BETTER!
JUST STOP SHOPPING!
SOMEONE WILL RETURN YOUR HAT!
AND IF THEY DON'T, DON'T BUY A NEW ONE!

But I want to. I need it.

NO YOU DON'T IT'S JUST A STUPID MATERIALISTIC GOOD!
YOU DON'T NEED IT TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF!

I need to find someway to feel better about myself and I know that taking care of myself will work but it's so hard.

You only THINK it's hard. Think it's easy and it will become easy. It's all in the mind.

I just want to be able to feel sad and cry without forcing myself to think positive.

You CAN do that but you'll only have today. Feel as sad as you want because tomorrow is going to be brighter. You'll feel better after going your homework and exercising, trust me.

You're not weak. You're very strong inside. Even the strongest feel depressed at times. Don't let it get you down.

My child self and my adult self always seem to be talking to one another inside of me.

We must think of some solutions for you but first identify the problems so the best solutions can be identified.

Problems - Waking up on time
- Feeling depressed
- Feeling as if there is too much going on
- Feeling as if I'm not doing the best/taking proper care of myself

Solutions: - Move your alarm clock to the other side of the room
- Go to bed the latest at midnight NO MATTER WHAT! I don't even care if you haven't finished your homework. You should have started it earlier then.

- Exercise and eat well everyday

- Only do what's MOST IMPORTANT at any given time. Anything else is secondary for when you have free time.

- You have a little voice inside of you that is telling you what's best for you. Listen to it. Try your hardest. I know it may be harder when your child self takes hold of you but you can do it. We love you. Don't worry. You'll get through this. All you need is us. -Maria and Theresa
 
 

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rainbow_day_glo
03 December 2009 @ 08:32 pm
Today marks the day in which I start exercising everyday,
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
30 November 2009 @ 01:42 am
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
26 November 2009 @ 09:58 pm
- Create a photography video
- Create a Model Mayhem
- Create an online portfolio for modeling and makeup

http://www.bandmix.ca/
http://www.musicians-in-your-city.com/musiker.html?land=ca&prid=ca-02-6-4
http://www.kijiji.ca
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
26 November 2009 @ 09:56 pm
I SERIOUSLY need to update my journal! And I will shorty. Now that I have a lot more free time on my hands and all.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
18 November 2009 @ 07:53 pm
ONLY 3 MORE MONTHS UNTIL I CAN BE A LIFE DRAWING MODEL!!!

:D
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
18 November 2009 @ 06:50 pm
She's an elderly lady and reminds me of the positive attributes of my grandmother.
Unlike my previous roommate she actually knows how to clean, cook, converse and speak English.
Not to mention she seems really nice!
I have high hopes that this is going to work out!
 
 

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rainbow_day_glo
15 October 2009 @ 09:13 pm
I just finished watching a really short anime called "Angel Sanctuary". At first I thought, "Wow, Pacific Mall really ripped me off this time by only giving me 3 episodes of this series." but then I looked it up and it turns out it actually really is only 3 episodes long. :( I wish it were longer though since it seemed so interesting with angels, demons and incestuous love-the whole shebang.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
11 October 2009 @ 07:30 pm
-Plan a lot of photoshoots
-Watch anime
-Catch up on work
-Read books
-Listen to podcasts
-Do makeup tutorials
-Catch up on journal writing
-Go to poetry readings
-Paint
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
05 October 2009 @ 06:33 pm
It's extremely hard and scary to admit that the person I see everyday is only draining me. You never put out what you take, both emotionally and intellecually.  You count on me for far too many things that only you should be providing yourself. I cannot give you the happiness that only you can give yourself. I cannot give you the self esteem that only you can give yourself. I cannot give you the personality that only you can give yourself. At first I thought "Boy I must have a very addictive personality." If so then why don't all of my friends act like me? You copy me to a very irritating amount. You talk the way I do. You use the catch phrases that I do. You even present yourself like I do.

I always feel obligated to include you in everything I do, even when I don't actually feel like it. A lot of the time I'd just like to be left by myself to do something productive. This is the type of person I am. I only either want to do something productive by myself or with another person. Not see them to pass the time. A lot of the things we do together I could easily do alone when I feel too drained to do something productive which is rare. And by being productive I don't just mean bettering myself. 

One example is when I invited you to go urban exploring with Morgan and I but I knew that it would be an illogical decision to invite you since you would have difficulty climbing and there wouldn't be enough room in the car. When I told you this you started to cry and didn't even try to see my side of the story. You never even try to understand me. 

A friendship to me means moving forward in life together and you're just dragging me down. A lot of the time when I try to do something better you don't even realize it. The way you see the world is far too negative for me. We only connect with the things we have in common not how we see the world.

I've never had a friend whom I fight as much as I do with you. Not even Rachel who I used to see just as much as I do you. This reason being you have problems letting little things go and you won't stop unless you feel as if you're right and you've won. To me I don't care who wins but that the decision leads to a conclusion that makes both of the people happy. Being around you is changing me and it's not the kind of change that I like.

I'm not doing to define us as best friends just because I see you more than any my other friends. I need to make a lot more time for myself and for my other friends to be productive. I don't mean just being productive in only bettering myself but by helping each other together.

It's not just because we're two different people.
I don't have this problem and I never have with any of my other friends.

You say you'll improve but you don't even see you try.
You still correct me even when I tell you how much it bothers me.
You still create arguments over stupid useless things.
I try so hard to think positive and to improve myself.
Meanwhile I'm the one with depression.

This is how I feel and I've tried to explain a lot of this to you before but all you do is end up getting defensive. You never actually try to improve.

I just can't deal with you anymore. I'm not going to waste anymore energy in this. I tried to make this work for over a year. I'm sure you'll be fine with the long list of best friends that you've listed and since you state that you're very secure with yourself.

You're only lying to yourself.

You say that you would kill yourself if I let you go. Grow up. You have no right to put that kind of pressure on me.

I however am very thankful for every selfless thing you've ever done for me. Thank you and goodbye.
 
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
05 October 2009 @ 11:39 am
I don't understand why he would waste so much money on me! I feel as though I don't deserve it. It has an mp3 player, internet and unlimited texting. Not to mention it's blue! I'm just going to be happy and thankful.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
05 October 2009 @ 11:32 am
Today is picture day at school! :D
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
05 October 2009 @ 11:10 am
Me  

Adrenaline junkie

"Adrenaline junkie" is a term used to describe somebody who appears to be addicted to epinephrine (endogenous) and such a person is sometimes described as getting a "high" from life. The term adrenaline junkie was popularly used in the 1991 movie Point Break to describe individuals who enjoyed dangerous activities (such as extreme sports) for the adrenaline "rush". Adrenaline junkies appear to favour stressful activities for the release of epinephrine as a stress response. Whether or not the positive response is caused specifically by epinephrine is difficult to determine, as endorphins are also released during the fight-or-flight response to such activities.

 
 
rainbow_day_glo
29 September 2009 @ 09:49 pm
 
 

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rainbow_day_glo
29 September 2009 @ 07:01 pm

Chakras

Chakra means Wheel in Sanskrit.

The body has spinning energy centers that look like spinning wheels and are called, Chakras.

As with all things in our reality, they are linked to sound, light and color.

To heal, is to bring the chakras into alignment and balance

then understand the nature of creation and your purpose in it.

It's all in motion in the alchemy of time.


Kundalini


In Hinduism and its spiritual systems of yoga and in some related eastern cultures, as well as in some segments of the New Age movement -- and to some degree the distinctly different New Thought movement - a chakra is thought to be an energy node in the human body.

The word comes from the Sanskrit "cakra" meaning "wheel, circle", and sometimes also referring to the "wheel of life". The pronunciation of this word can be approximated in English by 'chuhkruh', with ch as in chart and both instances - the commonly found pronunciation 'shockrah' is incorrect.

The seven main chakras are described as being aligned in an ascending column from the base of the spine to the top of the head. Each chakra is associated with a certain color, multiple specific functions, an aspect of consciousness, a classical element, and other distinguishing characteristics.

The chakras are thought to vitalise the physical body and to be associated with interactions of both a physical and mental nature. They are considered loci of life energy, or prana, which is thought to flow among them along pathways called nadis.

 

    In Mysticism, a Nadi (plural: Nadis) is an energy channel in which prana energy flows and may connect chakras. It is not accepted by mainstream science. The main nadis include Shushumna, Ida and Pingala.

    Nadis are thought to carry a life force energy known as prana in Sanskrit, or qi in Chinese-based systems. They are also said to have an extrasensory function, playing a part in empathic and instinctive responses.Nadis are sometimes viewed as extending only to the skin of the body, but are often thought to extend to the boundary of the aura.

    The Ida and Pingala nadis are often seen as referring to the two hemispheres of the brain. Pingala is the extroverted, solar nadi, and corresponds to the left hand side of the brain. Ida is the introverted, lunar nadi, and refers to the right hand side of the brain.

    The two nadis are stimulated through the practice of pranayama, which involves alternate breathing through left and right nostrils, which would alternately stimulate the left and right sides of the brain.The word nadi comes from the Sanskrit root nad meaning "channel", "stream", or "flow".

Traditional Chinese medicine also relies on a similar model of the human body as an energy system.

The New Age movement has led to an increased interest in the West regarding chakras. Many in this movement point to a correspondence between the position and role of the Chakras, and those of the glands in the endocrine system. Some people in New Age also claim that other chakras, besides the above, exist - for instance, ear chakras.

The chakras are described in the tantric texts the Sat-Cakra-Nirupana, and the Padaka-Pancaka, in which they are described as emanations of consciousness from Brahman, an energy which comes down from the spiritual and gradually crudifies, creating these distinct levels of chakras, and which eventually finds its rest in the Muladhara chakra.

 

    Muladhara is positioned close to anus, at the perineum, and it has four petals which match the vrittis of greatest joy, natural pleasure, delight in controlling passion, and blissfulness in concentration.

    In Samkhya philosophy, the concept of Muladhara is that of moola prakriti, the metaphysical basis of material existence. Muladhara is the chakra that draws down spritual energy and causes it to assume a physical existence. It is like the negative pole in an electrical circuit, which provides the potential for the evolution of form.

    Within this chakra resides sleeps the kundalini shakti, the great spiritual potential, waiting to be aroused and brought back up to the source from which it originated, Brahman.

    Muladhara is the base from which the 3 main psychic channels, nadis, ida, pingala and sushumna, emerge.It is related to the physical processes of reproduction and excretion, and also to the various fear and guilt complexes associated with them. All a person's Samskaras ( potential karma ), are expressed here, in a physical form.

    This chakra is associated with the deities Indra, Brahma and Dakini, the element Earth and the color red.

They are therefore part of an emanationist theory, like that of the kabbalah in the west, or neo-platonism. The energy that was unleashed in creation, called the Kundalini, lies coiled and sleeping, and it is the purpose of a tantric yogi to arouse this energy, and cause it to rise back up through the increasingly subtler chakras, until union with god is achieved in the Sahasrara chakra at the crown of the head.

 

    Sahasrara is positioned above the head or at the top of it and it has 1000 petals which are arranged in 20 layers each of them with 50 petals. For a discussion about the petal count see also petal (chakra)Often referred as thousand-petaled lotus, it is said to be the most subtle chakra in the system, relating to pure consciousness, and it is from this chakra that all the other chakras emanate. When a yogi is able to raise his or her kundalini, energy of consciousness, up to this point, the state of samadhi, or union with god, is experienced.

Apart from this primary text from India, different western authors have tried to describe the chakras, most notably the Theosophists. Many new age writers, such as the Danish author and musician Peter Kjaerulff in his book, The Ringbearers Diary, or Anodea Judith in her book Wheels of Life, have written their opinions about the chakras in great detail, including the reasons for their appearance and their functions.

The seven chakras are said by some to reflect how the unified consciousness of man (the immortal human being or the soul), is divided to manage different aspects of earthly life (body/instinct/vital energy/deeper emotions/communication/having an overview of life/contact to God). The chakras are placed at differing levels of spiritual subtletly, with Sahasrara at the top being concerned with pure consciousness, and Muladhara at the bottom being concerned with matter, which is seen simply as crudified consciousness.




THE CHAKRA WHEELS

 


Crown Chakra



Brow Chakra



Throat Chakra



Heart Chakra



Solar Plexus



Spleen Chakra



Root Chakra


Additionally, there is a Transpersonal Chakra above the crown chakra. There are also many minor chakras, for example between the major chakras. The Transpersonal chakra is a chakra that many meditation practitioners say is located above the crown chakra. The transpersonal chakra is said to be located about 4-5 fingers above the head. This chakra is associated with spiritual connection between individuals, as well as connection to one's Higher Self. The transpersonal chakra is sometimes seen as several chakras above the head, with the lowest chakra located about 4-5 fingers above the head and the highest chakra located about 1 foot above the head. The highest located transpersonal chakra is also often referred to as the Soulstar. Our souls are sparks of light, the little twinkling lights you see from time to time out of the periphery of your of field of vision.

 

Origins and Development of Chakra Theory

The earliest known mention of chakras is found in the later Upanishads, including specifically the Brahma Upanishad and the Yogatattva Upanishad. These vedic models were adapted in Tibetan Buddhism as Vajrayana theory, and in the Tantric Shakta theory of chakras.It is the shakta theory of 7 main chakras that most people in the West adhere to, either knowingly or unknowingly, largely thanks to a translation of two indian texts, the Sat-Cakra-Nirupana, and the Padaka-Pancaka, by Sir John Woodroffe, alias Arthur Avalon, in a book entitled The Serpent Power.

This book is extremely detailed and complex, and later the ideas were developed into what is predominant western view of the Chakras by the Theosophists, and largely the controversial (in theosophical circles) C. W. Leadbeater in his book The Chakras, which are in large part his own meditations and insights on the matter.

That said, many present-day Indian gurus that incorporate chakras within their systems of philosophy do not seem to radically disagree with the western view of chakras, at least on the key points, and both these eastern and western views have developed from the Shakta Tantra school.

There are various other models of chakras in other traditions, notably in Chinese medicine, and also in Tibetan Buddhism. Even in Jewish kabbalah, the different Sephiroth are sometimes associated with parts of the body.

In Islamic Sufism , Lataif-e-Sitta ( Six Subtleties ) are considered as psychospiritual "organs" or faculties of sensory and suprasensory perception , activation of which makes a man complete .

Attempts are made to try and reconcile the systems with each other, and notably there are some successes, even between such diverged traditions as Shakta Tantra, Sufism and Kabbalism, where chakras , lataif and Sephiroth can seemingly represent the same archetypal spiritual concepts.

In Surat Shabda Yoga, initiation by an Outer Living Satguru (Sat - true, Guru - teacher) is required and involves reconnecting soul to the Shabda and stationing the Inner Shabda Master (the Radiant Form of the Master) at the third eye chakra.

 


Yoga view of chakras




CHAKRAS AND THE ENDOCRINE SYSTEM

Parallels have often been drawn, by supporters of the existence of chakras, between the positions and functions of the chakras, and of the various organs of the endocrine system.

The highest crown chakra is said to be the chakra of consciousness, the master chakra that controls all the others. Its role would be very similar to that of the pituitary gland, which secretes hormones to control the rest of the endocrine system, and also connects to the central nervous system via the hypothalamus. The thalamus is thought to have a key role in the physical basis of consciousness.

The Ajna Chakra, or third eye, is linked to the pineal gland. Ajna is the chakra of time and awareness and of light. The pineal gland is a light sensitive gland, that produces the hormone melatonin, which regulates the instincts of going to sleep and awakening. It also produces trace amounts of the psychedelic chemical dimethyltryptamine.

(Note: some argue that the pineal and pituitary glands should be exchanged in their relationship to the Crown and Brow chakras, based on the description in Arthur Avalon's book on kundalini called Serpent Power)

The throat chakra, Vishuddha, is said to be related to communication and growth, growth being a form of expression. This chakra is paralleled to the thyroid, a gland that is also in the throat, and which produces thyroid hormone, responsible for growth and maturation.

The heart chakra, Anahata, is related to love, equilibrium, and well-being. It is related to the thymus, located in the chest. This organ is part of the immune system, as well as being part of the endocrine system. It produces T cells responsible for fighting off disease, and is adversely affected by stress.

The solar plexus chakra, Manipura, is related to energy, assimilation and digestion, and is said to correspond to the roles played by the pancreas and the outer adrenal glands, the adrenal cortex. These play a valuable role in digestion, the conversion of food matter into energy for the body.

The sacral chakra, Swadhisthanna, is located in the groin, and is related to emotion, sexuality and creativity. This chakra is said to correspond to the testes or the ovaries, that produce the various sex hormones involved in the reproductive cycle, which can cause dramatic mood swings.

The base or root chakra, Muludhara, is related to security, survival and also to basic human potentiality. It is said the kundalini lies coiled here, ready to uncoil and bring man to his highest spiritual potential in the crown chakra. This center is located in the region between the genitals and the anus. Although no endocrine organ is placed here, it is said to relate to the inner adrenal glands, the adrenal medulla, responsible for the fight and flight response when survival is under threat. In this region is located a muscle that controls ejaculation in the sexual act. A parallel is drawn between the sperm cell and the ovum, where the genetic code lies coiled, and the legendary kundalini, ready to express itself as a fully developed human being.

Chakrology is a neologism sometimes employed by Alternative Medicine practitioners or esoteric philosophers for the study of chakras. There are many different chakrologies, some of them based on ancient Indian Hindu Tantric esoteric traditions, New Age interpretations, or Western occult analyses, as well as ancient Greek and Christian references. Croatian esoteric philosopher and physicist Arvan Harvat notes that it would be very difficult to develop a unified coherent chakra science that would integrate all the elements of the various present chakrologies.

 

TANTRIC CHAKRAS

Tantra (Shakta or Shaktism) describes eight primary inner chakras:

 

    1. Sahasrara

    2. Ajna

    3. Vishuddha

    4. Anahata

    5. Manipura

    6. Swadhisthana

    7. Muladhara

    8. Bindu

 

 

THEORIES

The idea of chakras as understood in Eastern philosophy does not exist in Western medical science. In Eastern thought, the chakras are thought to be levels of consciousness, and states of the soul, and 'proving' the existence of chakras is akin to 'proving' the existence of a soul. A mystic deals with these metaphysical concepts on the metaphysical plane, as a model for their own internal experience, and when talking about 'energy centres', they are generally talking about subtle, spiritual forces, which work on the psyche and spirit, not about physical electrical or magnetic fields.

The primary importance and level of existence of chakras is therefore posited to be in the psyche and in the spirit. However, there are those who believe that chakras have a physical manifestation as well. Although there is no evidence that Indian mystics made this association themselves, it is noted by many that there is a marked similarity between the positions and roles described for chakras, and the positions and roles of the glands in the endocrine system, and also by the positions of the nerve ganglia (also known as "plexuses") along the spinal column, opening the possibility that two vastly different systems of conceptualization have been brought to bear to systemize insights about the same phenomenon. By some, chakras are thought of as having their physical manifestation in the body as these glands, and their subjective manifestation as the associated psychological and spiritual experiences.

Indeed, the various hormones secreted by these glands do have a dramatic effect on human psychology, and an imbalance in one can cause a psychological or physical imbalance in a person. Whether these changes in body state have a bearing on spiritual matters is a subject of dissent even among the Indian theorists, and the different systems of conceptualization, Indian and Western, make only a partial convergence in this case.

Perhaps the most psychologically dramatic and potent secretion of these glands is the psychedelic drug DMT (which is synthesized by the pineal gland, corresponding to the brow chakra). At least in the West, some individuals have sought spiritual breakthroughs through the use of such chemical aids, occasionally referred to as entheogens in this context.

References:

Morgen, Robert (2005). Personal Mastery: Develop Your True Inner Power by Awakening Your Kundalini, 1st, Windhaven Press

Sharp, Dr. Michael (2005). Dossier of the Ascension: A Practical Guide to Chakra Activation and Kundalini Awakening, 1st, Avatar Publications




CHAKRAS AMD COLOR FREQUENCES

RED
Base: Kundalini: Root Chakra:
Located at the base of the spine.
Contains the primary 8 cells that have all of the knowledge of
creation and remain the only cells in your body that do not
change in your lifetime. It grounds us in the physical world.

ORANGE
Spleen: Located just beneath the navel, and
related to our sexual and reproductive capacity.
Blockage manifests as emotional problems or sexual guilt.

YELLOW
Solar Plexis: Seat of Emotions. Gives us a sense of personal power
in the world. Blockage manifests as anger or a sense of victimization.


GREEN
Heart Chakra: Blockage can manifest as immune
system or heart problems, or a lack of compassion.

Heart Center - Seat of the Soul in the hourglass of time - Zero Point


BLUE
Throat: Tied to creativity and communication. Feels pressure
when you are not communicating your emotions properly.

INDIGO
Third Eye: Pineal Gland: Is a physical eye
with the capabilities of looking upward.

PURPLE
Crown: Connects you with message from higher realms.
Can be experienced as a pressure on the top of the head.




DREAM SYMBOLS

1st Chakra - base/perinium, red, Earth, survival, grounding, stillness, elephant, earth

 

2nd Chakra - lower abdomen, orange, water, emotions, sexuality, desire, tears, crocodile, moon

3rd Chakra - solar plexus, yellow, fire, will, power, anger, joy, laughter, ram, sun

4th Chakra - heart, green, air, love, balance, compassion, antelope

5th Chakra - throat, blue, throat, ether, sound, communication, creativity, expansion, excitement, deer

6th Chakra - (third eye or adjna centre) forehead, indigo, forehead, light, clairvoyance, psychic abilities, imagination, dreaming, owl

7th Chakra - top of head, violet, top of head, thought, spiritual connection, understanding, knowing, bliss, God




    CHAKRAS AND SOUND    


Chakra color frequencies also follow correlate with the musical scale.


No
Chakra
Note
Color
8
 
C '
 
7
Crown
B
Violet
6
Third Eye / Brow
A
Indigo
5
Throat
G
Blue
4
Heart
F
Green
3
Solar
E
Yellow
2
Sacral
D
Orange
1
Base
C
Red




CRYSTAL BOWL HARMONICS AND CHAKRAS

The use of quartz crystal bowls in the

correct harmonic can activate and align chakras.




The corresponding colored crystal can be placed on

a chakra to bring balance and create a grid matrix for healing.




LOVERS

Lovers connect through their chakra systems,

grid matrixes and auric fields.




CROP CIRCLES AND CHAKRAS

June 1996...Alton Barnes, England


This Crop Circle shows 12 Chakras and the Activation of our DNA



12 Around 1




EARTH CHAKRA SYSTEM

The Earth, as a living organism, has chakra centers.
They link with major grid points [meridians] based on sacred geometry.



Our chakras are aligned to the Earth's grid system.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
29 September 2009 @ 05:20 pm








 
 
rainbow_day_glo
29 September 2009 @ 01:52 pm
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
29 September 2009 @ 01:04 am
Don't feel guilty about 99.9% of the things you do. Chances are a million people are doing the exact same thing right now and a million people before you have done it too. Guilt should be saved for killers, rapists and cheaters. So eat that last piece of cake. Lose that egotistical friend. Do what you gotta do to make yourself happy without feeling guilty because a lot of people can and will take advantage of that. -Realized with the help of Morgan
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
29 September 2009 @ 01:02 am
I need to access situations with more logic rather than emotional from now on.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
29 September 2009 @ 12:11 am

I find that men who have been brought up to be "good guys" go through life being boring and sheltered and that assholes can become "good guys" through experience and maturity. The same can be said for everyone though, not just guys. I mean what child/teenager isn't an asshole at some point in their young lives? Most people through maturity and experience realize that they would have a much more fulfilling life if they had a more positive outlook and treated themselves and people with love/respect. The problem with "actual" assholes is that they're far too stubborn/egotistical/stupid to ever acknowledge their faults.

An actual "good guy" wouldn't go as far as to date a girl in her teens because he would be a mature adult and she wouldn't be in his age group. He wouldn't be a pedophile and he would know that he deserves someone around his age. I'm beginning to think that any girl who tries to develop a serious/meaningful relationship in her teens is just wasting her time and instead she should use her energy to better herself and have fun before she turns into a wrinkly old lady. XD Then when she's older she'll be ready for a "good guy" or "the one" (depending on what you believe). Unless she's a lesbian, since girls mature much faster than guys do. :P

 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 11:45 pm
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 11:45 pm


I've only ever been to the Official Toronto Zombie Walk but this was a nice change except for some weird reason we weren't allowed to yell, "Brains!" Anywho, the previous night I slept over at Raya's so when I woke up I consequently found myself there. I went on her mom's computer to get in contact with Jen and Melis at around 9 am to meet up at 3 pm at Bathurst Station. So I got ready, did my makeup and Raya's as well. We didn't have time to eat breakfast and figured we'd grab something later. Half way in our way towards the station she remembered she forgot her wand. So I sat and finished my smoke while she ran back to quickly retrieve it.

We arrived at Bathurst a little late but we were pleased to see that Millie, Sam, Jen and her boyfriend we're already there. The only person who was missing was Melis. D: So we waited around 40 mintues for her and her friends but figured that they'd be alright locating us at the park since we didn't want to miss the start of the march.

On our way there we stopped at Timmy's for a snack (Sam's treat) and ran into Nicole, Delfi, etc. When we found the park we searched for Melis and her friends. It took them a while but they eventually arrived. The walk overall was a lot of fun but hardly anyone was making an ass out of themselves besides me. It's one of the few days of the year where I can get away with it and not feel embarssed. I wish Morgan was there to join me.

Half way through the walk we stopped for a break at Nathan Philip's square. Everyone besides me had an icecream or refreshment of some sort. I just had what was offered since I can rarely eat a whole icecream and I had no money. Jen and her boyfriend decided to leave since she wasn't into it and feeling really down.

And so the walk and my ass making ensued until around 6 pm where we lost Melis and her friends. While trying to locate them (again) we were bombarded by people asking for our photo. We didn't end up finding them so we went to Mcdonald's for some lunch. Afterwards Millie. Raya and I stopped off at Millie's house to retrieve Lexy. Raya, Lexy and Millie went over to Raya's to watch Disney movies and I headed home.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 11:40 pm
...I've been trying to cut negative people out from my life and make my close relationships more positive.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 11:40 pm
...I'm going to focus more on my hobbies and I'm going to eat healthier.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 11:25 pm


 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 10:52 pm
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 10:42 pm
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 10:40 pm
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 10:35 pm
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 10:10 pm
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 09:29 pm
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 09:26 pm



"This was the best birthday party I've ever had. Thanks you guys." - Raya


 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 08:55 pm

   It was my second time seeing it at Bloor Cinema. Even though I think the movie is over rated, I love the little antics that the people do there. Beforehand we (Samantha, Millie, their mum, Chrystal, and I) took a cab to the cinema at around 9ish. We ended up running to a lot of people I knew (Delfi, Natasha, Fred) who were seeing a the screening before Rocky. We were told by numerous sources that if we didn't get there before 9:30 then we might as well not go. We get there before this time and are told that tickets only go on sale the earliest at 10:45. -_- So we chilled at Starbucks until then. Millie's mum got me a double shot espresso :D and Chrystal and I split a chocolate cake. A few people outside keep on staring and gesturing at us. A bald 40 year old man eventually came and talked with us. Chrystal went outside and had a word with them as well. Her, Millie and I later on went outside out of view from Millie's mum for a smoke. A young woman asked for us to watch her truck and we got a little freaked out when 2 people came and started taking bags. We later found out that they were with her.

  Afterwords we yelled random things at people, got our tickets, waited outside the cinema, saw more people that I knew, waited in line, freezed my ass off and then we were finally let inside. I was so happy to have gotten water, licorice and popcorn. :D After the show was over Millie, Sam and their mum went on their way and Chrystal took me to her house. We fell asleep listening to the Rent soundtrack.

  I woke up at around 11 am and had a smoke outside. Her cats and dog are so cuddly. ^.^ Even though her dog has a constipation problem. :S We made a vegetable omelet together and I took it to go. My dad picked me up at around 1 pm after going to the wrong address. I got a pair of black Doc Marten's at Neon before he dropped me off at home. :D
 
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 08:49 pm
14 August 2009 @ 05:39 pm - The Last Couple of Days
 
Image and video hosting by TinyPic 

Millie and I went to Shaunty's house warming party. I finally got to see her new apartment! It's not too shabby not to mention her roommate loves SOAD! :D Millie and I drew on their kitchen wall and had some booze, snacks, cigerettes and weed both inside and on the balcony. We couldn't really relate to the people there but we tried to converse. One guy even played T-Pain when I requested it. XD It was a fun small get-together. Afterwords Millie and I attempted to go out but I ended up being too stoned and just wanted to sleep so we ended up going back to her house right after one guy thought we were prostitutes. Thank God Millie was too high to realize. XD

I went out with Juicetin the day before yesterday and not too long ago as well. The first time we went out we walked around Yonge street and got a flyer for some random new video game store so we decided to check it out. And what a store it is! They have old video game consolles, old video games, used and new games as well. Not to mention they had used iPods for cheap too! I managed to buy a pink iPod nano! Something that I've been needing for months. We also checked out another video game store on Yonge, the one that has the Urbz for only $9 and DDR for only $30. D: We then ate some sushi, walked around and headed home.

On our second outing we went to the Value Village around Victoria Park 'cause I needed to buy some things for Fan Expo. I found a some things that I need in order to be Re-L from Ergo Proxy - a black vest and a black dress shirt. Now all I need is a black wig with side bangs and I'm set! We also found a pink couch with both pink and purple fuzzy pillows! D: My dream couch! Oh well... Juicetin managed to get some things as well, well only one thing, but it was worth it! He found a well made figurine with a dragon sitting on a castle tower. I tried to get a bagel with cream cheese from Tim Hortins but after ordering it I found out that they only accepted a Tim's card or cash meanwhile I only had debit. They said I could come back tomorrow to pay LOL but I just left since I knew that I wouldn't be back.  We then wasted only around $4.50 each at Burger King but it was worth it as well! The Whopper was on sale and after finishing it I felt like fat bastard. We then went to his co-workers house in order to use their phone for someone to pick us up since I didn't have change to take the TTC and Juicetin didn't have any to lend me. It's the place that Juicetin is moving into in a couple of weeks and it's sooo clean, well, compared to all of the other young adults home I've seen it's far the best! They seem very responsible and they don't do drugs! I got to see inside, meet the people and see where Juicetin will be living. I wish I could live there for only $300 a month! I'm so happy for him! Anywho, I had a smok and eventually Stephanie cam to pick us up after we called home. We then watched Deathnote and went to sleep.

Yesterday Raya, Sarah and I went to Velvet Underground for Industrial night and the music was awesome! They played Enjoy the Silence,, a remix of The Cure's Love Song AND right after we requested for the DJ to play Korn he played Shoots and Ladders. :D I went CRAZY!

Tonight I'll be going to Delfi's freetek with Nicole and Larry, tomorrow I'll be going to Tokyo Cyber Monster AND on Sunday I'll be going to DMMDI! I love summer! :D
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 05:15 am
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
28 September 2009 @ 05:12 am

How do You View Attractiveness?

When you are sifting through online dating profiles have you ever wondered what makes someone attractive to you? Usually there is something in the way it is written that piques your interest and makes you want to at least get a little more information.

Most of the time attraction is different for everyone, but there seems to be some things that are standard for both men and women. Of course, many people feel that they are attracted on a physical level first, but this isn't the case for everyone. Online profiles give pictures, but these may not be real pictures of them or they might have been taken at an earlier time.

When you go onto the Internet to find help with how to attract a woman or a man, there is plenty of information out there to help you. There are some common things that people seem to look for, and a few of them are below. Of course, keep in mind that these are generalizations and definitely not applicable to everyone.

  • The Bad Boy Image
    Many women report that they like the bad boy image because bad boys seem to be more confident than nice guys. They would rather be with a guy that is funny and sure of himself than someone who is boring, as long as he still knows when to shut off the attitude. They want a man with a pleasing personality who can have fun and who has a sense of humor.
  • Teasing and Joking
    Men like women who are able to take a joke whether it is about themselves or just fooling around. They like a woman who can tease a little, but who is also a little flirty. They also like her if she can be at least a little interested in sports. Once again, of course, not all men are sports nuts either. That is why it is so important that you at least make an attempt to first understand yourself and then what you are looking for in a partner.
  • Taking Care of Themselves
    Both men and women are attracted to someone who looks healthy and takes good care of themselves. Women particularly like the way men are comfortable with their bodies, handle themselves overall and they are most interested in their personality rather than their physical body. Men like a woman who looks healthy and who takes good care of herself.
  • Physical Appearance
    Both men and women are attracted to physical appearance, but in different ways. For a woman, if a man has a good personality, is responsible and treats her well, physical appearance is not always as important. Men are more visual creatures and physical appearance will be very in the way that they are attracted to someone.
  • Online Discussions That are Fun
    Although everyone is still flirting online when they are carrying on instant messages or chats, women are looking for the sincerity in what men are saying. Men may be looking for a way to have sex, but they also want someone who is fun and can carry on good conversation. Most people will determine from these tools whether they are attracted enough to meet the individual in person.
  • Pheromones
    Okay, we can't rule this one out because it is the way that people smell to each other. This is not a physical smell as much as it is something that triggers the brain to alert it that you are attracted. Studies have shown that pheromones contribute to how people come together and who they are drawn to.

What we know about attraction is that we don't know everything about it. We as humans will find something that will attract us, but it is not a concrete thing. It's not something we can say that we are able to put our finger on and it's not something that two people can measure with any level of certainty.

We do know that men and women have different things that attract them to each other, and for the time being, that is all we can go on until researchers are able to provide us more answers.

 
 
rainbow_day_glo
17 September 2009 @ 10:58 pm
Rant  

Why is everything A COMPETITION WITH PEOPLE?!?!

Especially how we present ourselves – what we wear, how we talk, how we type and opinions.

NO OPINION IS RIGHT OR WRONG SO STOP SAYING THAT WHAT I PERCEIVE AS BEING BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL!!!

BEAUTY IS BASED ON OPINION DUMB ASS!!!

Why cant we just love ourselves and everyone around us and STOP HURTING EVERYONE

FUCKING CHRIST!!!

MOST OF THE WORLD MAY BE EMOTIONAL DOOR KNOBS OR ACT LIKE IT BUT I KNOW THAT I HAVE GOD DAMN SENSITIVE EMOTIONS PEOPLE!!!

I GET HURT EASILY IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY NOTICED!!!

YOU INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS!!!

 

I KNOW THE WORLD DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME SO I'M JUST NOT GOING TO GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE!!!

 

IF SOMETHING BOTHERS ME I'M GOING TO FUCKING TELL YOU!!! AND IF YOU DENY IT THEN I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE!!!

EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE TOLD WHAT CERTAIN THINGS HURT ME AND IF THEY SAY THAT IT'S MY FAULT THAT I FEEL THAT WAY AND THAT THEY'RE DOING NOTHING WRONG THEN FUCK THEM!!!

 

WHY DO PEOPLE CARE IF ANOTHER STEALS THEIR THUNDER?

ARE THEY THAT EGOTISTICAL?

GOD!!!

WHY CAN'T WE JUST WORK TOGETHER?!?!

 

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!

I'D RATHER BE A LONER THAN DEAL WITH STUPID/INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING PUNCH A FUCKING WALL RIGHT NOW and be left alone for a month.

BUT NO I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL AND DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO WON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THEIR SELF-CENTERED LIVES.

 

PEOPLE HARDLY EVER FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!!!

 

I'M GOING TO HAVE ZERO PATIENCE FOR STUPIDITY FROM NOW ON!!! 

BEING OVER NICE AND QUIET GETS YOU NOWHERE!!!

 

AND WHY DO CERTAIN PEOPLE HAVE TO CHALLENGE EVERYTHING I SAY?!

I'VE BEEN THROUGH SOOO FUCKING MUCH BUT DO I GAIN PLEASURE FROM HURTING OTHER PEOPLE BY PICKING ON IMPLIED INSULTS AND RETALITING BY INSULTING BACK WHEN I DIDN' INTENALLY INSULT THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

NO!

SO WHY SHOULD YOU?!

IT'S BECAUSE YOU CARE LESS ABOUT ME THEN I DO ABOUT YOU!!!

LIKE FUCK!!!

I DON'T INTENALLY HURT MY FRIENDS!!!

THEY'RE CALLED FRIENDS FOR A REASON!!!

 

I just want to be alone.

I want to be alone forever.

Why can't I just be alone.

I just want to watch educational movies and read books forever.

Unless there are people who are interested in stimulating their mind and NOT TALKING ABOUT STUPID POINTLESS SHIT!!!

PEOPLE WHO WILL LEAVE THEIR EGOS BEHIND AND JUST WANT TO GAIN KNOWLEDGE, EXPIEREINCE, AND INTELLIGENCE AND LOVE WITH ME!!!

 

I HATE LAZY PEOPLE!!!

FUCKING DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!

DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT LIFE IS A GIFT WHICH WAS GIVEN TO YOU?!

YOU CAN ONLY DO CERTAIN THINGS FOR SO LONG!!!

 

AND OMG!!! PEOPLE WHO COPY ME...

OR COPY ANYONE CONCIOUSLY...

FUCKING PISSES ME OFF SOOO BADLY!!!

AT LEAST TRY TO BE ORIGINAL!!!

YOU'LL END UP LOOKING MORE LIKE YOURSELF YOU FUCKING MORONS!!!

I FUCKING HATE STUPIDITY SOOO FUCKING MUCH OH MY MOTHER FUCKING GOD!!! NOT STUPIDITY AS IN GRAMMATICAL/SPELLING ERRORS BUT EMOTIONAL STUPIDITY!!! WHERE IS THE LOVE YOU FUCKING IDIOTS?! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH IT HURTS SENSITIVE PEOPLE?!

 
 
rainbow_day_glo
17 September 2009 @ 10:13 pm
I got a bunch of educational videos from the garbage today and a few weeks ago I got a bunch of "Phycology Today" magazines along with some other magazines as well!
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
17 September 2009 @ 09:10 pm
SOCIAL NETWORKING FOR WEIRD PEOPLE!

http://impersonals.com

;D
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
16 September 2009 @ 06:49 pm
I get to do 5 things that I'm passionate about:
1.) Wear black all the time
2.) Makeup
3.) Help people
4.) Work with dead people
5.) Decorate

That's right! I'm going to be a Funeral Director! :D And it's only 2 years at Humber College!

The courses that I'll be taking:
Funeral Direction and Services 
Social Work 
Psychology  

I also passed by a HUGE classifieds site for funeral directors. So not only will this be a job that I'm passionate about, it won't take a lot of time to complete the education for it AND it will be stable!

:D

I just need to figure out how I'm going to pay for all of this now...
I'm going to beg my dad but if all fails I'll take a look into student loans...


 
 
rainbow_day_glo
14 September 2009 @ 06:30 am

 

It was amazing. I went with Raya and I cosplayed as Re-L from Ergo Proxy. We had a bit of trouble meeting up but eventually we found each other by the Union buses and made our way to the convention centre. When we arrived we waited in line for our tickets but later found out that without a deluxe pass we wouldn't be allowed in until 4 pm. -_- I saw a few cosplays that I could recognize though which made me even more impatient to get inside!

So we went to Chapters, talked and read until then. Raya bought an amazing book about romantic energy. I wish I could borrow it but she's very protective of her things, not that it's a bad thing. Afterwards we obviously made our way back and when we did I was overcome with happiness but fustration as well. I was surronded by so many beautiful things but had to money to take them home.
 
 
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
14 September 2009 @ 06:14 am
So, I was denied my old apartment because they don't want anyone "checking up on them" aka my welfare worker. That's illegal. I guess it's good in a way since I wouldn't want to live with anyone who seems like they're hiding something or can't speak english for that matter.

I found another place though and it's much better. I even put down a $200 deposit so it's for certain! It's much bigger than the previous place. Not only that I'll be having the place all to myself when I move in with a pink painted room, a living room and a kitchen for only $355 a month! Not to mentian that the man who is renting it out can actually speak english. And even though it's not near Pacific Mall it is close to a subway station (5 mintues away from Warden).

I am sooo excited to finally move out! :D
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
10 September 2009 @ 10:03 pm
Remove
Theresa Babu "Women use the right side of their brain more than men throughout their day which makes them receive 50-70% more input. Every moment seems more emotional. However in action, women use both sides of their brain. With everything a woman does there's always a feeling involved." What's the point of men again? :S Do emotional men ACTUALLY exist?
about an hour ago · Comment · Like
Giselle Seed likes this.

Giselle SeedI think so. (:
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa BabuBut could they ever be as emotional as a woman?
about an hour ago · Delete

Jake Disman... you're gonna make me cry. ;-)
about an hour ago · Delete

Giselle SeedI don't know.. I think so. I know about... 3 people who are.
about an hour ago · Delete

Erica RikkiMuffin PetrieLol they do, they're just coined as homosexual. Interestingly enough, I'm pretty sure that homosexual brains resemble the brains of the opposite sex. There's science behind this shit. Its all so interesting...
Oh, and we dont need men; just their penises [sperrrm.]
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babuwhat do you mean though? like do they freely express their feelings and experience life emotionally? or are they afraid as being percived as weak...
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babuperceived*
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babubut what's so great about penises?
about an hour ago · Delete

Giselle SeedYes! they do express ther emotins freely! And I really do appreciate it.
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babuwho are these people and what are their numbers?! XD
about an hour ago · Delete

Giselle SeedAnd I agree
about an hour ago · Delete

Erica RikkiMuffin Petrielol they feel good when inserted into vaginas? >.<
as for their emotions, they are there, just not triggered as easily. did you read The Female Brain like i told you to??? You will earn SO MUCH.
about an hour ago · Delete

Giselle Seedlol
Well most of all, Rojae M. :P
Then Avi. Then Sean (my bf!)
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babusee that's the thing! is it possible that there are SOME men with the brain of a female?

what about bi guys? i'm wondering if they're a LITTLE bit gay that it will make a difference.
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babuand no but i will! i'm reading a book atm. D:
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babuand any dildo can replace a penis...
penises aren't pink and sparkly!
and dildos aren't hairy and smell funny. XD
about an hour ago · Delete

Giselle SeedYes. That's just the thing! 2 of the 3 AWSOME guys I mentioned are gay. (:
Obviously not Sean.
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babubut he's half gay, isn't he?
bi, i mean.
about an hour ago · Delete

Erica RikkiMuffin Petrielol yeah i just started english so i'm reading like 4 :P but its a pretty complicated subject. i mean, there are people that believe bisexuality is bullshit. I know that the book said that lesbian women's brains resemble hetero males, but i dunno about homo males resembling hetero females. It all has to do with hormones really. so i guess if a male had similar hormone patterns to a female, it would cause him to be over emotional.
about an hour ago · Delete

Jean-Pierre Raven Gregoire~ brains? ~ what is that?
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babuover emotional for a man...but perfect for a woman you mean! XD
like it's hard to explain, i'm just trying to figure out wtf i am.
i'm only attracted to men who look like women, ie. have no facial/body hair, slim figure, long flowing hair, sub and dom personality at the same time...
then i love women but i only really love their bodies and i've only ever liked a girl twice in my entire life where as with guys i've liked a million.
or i'm wondering that with guys, i just think they're attractive and see a complimenting personality trait and i THINK that i like them since i've been brainwashed by society and the media.
because every time i think of us being intimate with a guy i don't get turned on at all...
unless they look like a girl...then it's good. XD
so if there's no such thing as bisexuality, then wtf am i?
a lesbian or a straight person who prefers femme guys?
or am i both?
about an hour ago · Delete

Theresa Babuand i don't know, but they taste good! XD
about an hour ago · Delete

Katushok Danger Kyea they exist, irish men have the quality...
48 minutes ago · Delete

Theresa Babubut it's like...one in a million...
47 minutes ago · Delete

Joy Harashoon a completely unrelated note:
men can read finer print.
and women can hear fainter sounds
32 minutes ago · Delete

Erica RikkiMuffin Petriehmmm I think its acceptable to say you like feminine males. [such as your love for Bill] I suppose that is the "natural" attraction that you're associating with society. Another thought is you're looking at this as a very gender based dilemma. Judging by your somewhat mutual attraction to both genders, i would say whether you are attracted to both someone physically and mentally is going to be on an individual basis, and you cant limit your preference to one type of person based on who you think you will be with.
I hope any of that made sense.
what if you went for transsexuals? best of both worlds, really. ♥
15 minutes ago · Delete

Theresa Babui know what you mean though and it makes sense...
i don't judge based on gender just by specific person.
and YES i love trans!
m-to- f for sure but only if a f-to-m was still girly. XD

8 minutes ago · Delete

Christian LarsenMen on average have better depth perception.
6 minutes ago · Delete

Theresa Babumen SUCK.
except for one's with brains of women.
and you're ok in my book since you're friends with my twin. XD
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
09 September 2009 @ 11:27 am
So last Saturday I met Melis for the first time! It took sooo long to get to Cambridge, I swear! My dad arrived at around 1:30 to pick me up and we got there at around 3:30ish. You think that is crazy? We got back into Toronto at fucking 6 pm! D: I never knew Cambridge was THAT far away!

I had trouble finding her since she didn't give me her apartment number (I assumed it was a house.) and I forgot to bring her phone number, which added to more time wasting. Luckly, she looked out her window RIGHT when I was below her apartment. Is that fate or what? If we didn't find each other I would have ended up circling the apartment and eventually knocked on all of the doors until I found her. XD

We listened to the radio and my iPod for most of the way to Toronto but we talked a little. When we finally arrived we went to Chinatown Mall and Melis went CRAZY. She reminded me of myself when I went for my first time. I bought 2 realistic looking food phone charms and later gave one to her. However, that's nothing compared to when I took her to Twylight. She went INSANE. She spent almost all of her money on new clothes but that's why she brought all of that money. We later went to Futurama, got some tuna buns and talked just outside of the Chinatown Mall food court. We went to the Eaton's Centre as well.

Afterwards we went to Millie's house only to find out that Millie was out at a free rave! She forgot about our plans but luckily Raya and Lexy were there. We watched an old corny children's cartoon about a Princess and some trolls. Millie's mom made us blueberry smoothies as well. :)

At around 10:30ish or so Melis had to head home in order to catch her 11:20 Greyhound bus. We helped her hail a cab since she would have most probably been late if she catched the TTC even though I printed out a subway map with instructions. D: Raya and I drank more smoothies and watched the end of the movie until Millie and Chrissy came home. They came home pretty early than expected so I guess the rave wasn't that great. I fell asleep in the spare room with Raya.


 
 
rainbow_day_glo
09 September 2009 @ 12:29 am
Don't care about what people think.
Always be yourself.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
JxEngel (3 days ago) Show Hide
 -4
Marked as spam
Lol... sorry careless whisper is gay... ite a fact... its a song by a gay person about man love and Im not talking bromance... My band isnt trying to make it big... and if I was in seether I would have said "this song is gay, lets cover an ungay song"
ToxicYTP (1 day ago) Show Hide
+1
Marked as spam
people are gay, songs aren't.
seether obviously isn't so insecure with themselves as to avoid recording a musical masterpiece, just because the man who sang it happened to be gay.
guys loving each other. wow, that's horrible. they should be as miserable as you are, my friend.
p.s. I'm a straight girl. :D
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
08 September 2009 @ 09:51 pm

Theresa Babu
Here’s the inside dirt on players. Men who are into picking up women do it because the challenge of picking up a woman validates their intense need to feel important, powerful, and attractive. They are NOT looking to settle down, they don’t care abou...t the woman they’re with, and they don’t want a relationship with any woman no matter how cool or beautiful she is. The excitement of the search for women, the challengeRead More

<input ... ><input ... ><input ... >2 hours ago · ·
Demented John Dooley
Demented John Dooley
Truer words were never spoken my dear
2 hours ago · Delete
Larry Varvarici
Larry Varvarici
Cant get more true than that
2 hours ago · Delete
Christian Larsen
Christian Larsen
It really is more complicated than that. Most men play around when they're single, and lots of women do the same.
2 hours ago · Delete
Brittany Burzynski
Brittany Burzynski
Wow, sounds like every guy I fall for
2 hours ago · Delete
Christian Larsen
Christian Larsen
Besides, without picking a girl up, how would any guy meet a girl?
2 hours ago · Delete
Theresa Babu
Theresa Babu
that's complete bullshit!
you can have a decent conversation without playing any tricks or games and then desire each other where both parties want each others contact information.
>:-U

and i hate guys who even "just" play around when they're single.
about an hour ago · Delete
Christian Larsen
Christian Larsen
Yes, but Theresa, that's still considered picking up. Picking up simply means meeting a girl, having a mutual attraction, and having a means of seeing the girl again. Picking up can be completely and 100% honest. I know, I did it on a weekly basis when I was your age.
about an hour ago · Delete
Theresa Babu
Theresa Babu
WEEKLY?!
but then none of those girls were special!
did you ever have a committed relationship with any of those girls?

and i know BUT you were referring that most guys are players in SOME sort of way.... Read More
which isn't necessarily true.
about an hour ago · Delete
Christian Larsen
Christian Larsen
Not at your age, but when I was in my mid twenties, I met a girl, and at first it was going to be just a fling. But as time went on, we found a really deep and strong connection and it turned out to be the longest, and best relationship I ever had. All from a fling.
about an hour ago · Delete
Theresa Babu
Theresa Babu
but your the exception, not the rule.
about an hour ago · Delete
Christian Larsen
Christian Larsen
In most cases, I'd agree with you, but not that one. I've seen plenty of similar cases, where something that started out like harmless fun turned serious because the people realized that they were right for each other. It's a hell of a lot better than just hopping into a commitment when you first meet someone. You don't know what to expect when you first meet a person, unless you're psychic, and even then, you can still get booty blind.
about an hour ago · Delete
Theresa Babu
Theresa Babu
but i don't like flings. :(
i have too many emotions for it to just be a physical connection... D:
about an hour ago · Delete
Christian Larsen
Christian Larsen
emotional connections are not a bad thing, but don't allow them to become attachments, otherwise you'll drive most good guys away.
about an hour ago · Delete
Theresa Babu
Theresa Babu
now THAT is a good piece of advice!
57 minutes ago · Delete
Alice Quinn
Alice Quinn
This has been one of the most interesting posts on facebook all day! You should turn it into a note!
17 minutes ago · Delete
Theresa Babu
Theresa Babu
XD
i'll save it in my journal or something
2 seconds ago · Delete
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
08 September 2009 @ 07:50 pm
Q - How long does it take to microwave a dead baby

A - I don't know I was busy masturbating
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
08 September 2009 @ 04:42 pm
The woman takes on the role of the “selector” who
accepts or rejects the man’s advances.
The man takes on the role of the “selectee” who
makes advances and displays himself in an attempt to
attract a woman.
It’s this role of the “selector” that can be a
TREMENDOUS courtship advantage for women… but for
some women things work MUCH differently. Somehow the
roles above seem to be mixed or reversed. For them it’s
like there’s been a shift in the roles and men have
become the one’s being chased after and making the
courtship decisions.
Some women feel that they’re the ones that need to
go out and make a man express interest in them. They
feel like they are working for a man’s approval and
acceptance. So they do all sorts of things such as
dressing up, trying to act overly sexy, and pretending
they like doing things a guy is interested in even if they
don’t.
When did the tables turn?
Well, they didn’t. What’s happened is that lots of
women have forgotten about the natural advantages they
possess. Instead, they allow themselves to be driven by
their feelings, emotions and the desire to have a man and
a fulfilling relationship in their life. Their desire for a
relationship overshadows their instinct to select only the
best potential candidates or mates. As a result, they
move from the strong position as the “selector” to the
weaker position as the “selectee”.

It’s also extremely powerful if you let men know that
you’re paying attention to how they act and what kind of
man they are by playfully posing certain types of
questions to them. The kind of questions you ask should
let them know that you are judging their quality and
character, and that you’ll only be with a man who’s got
what it takes.
But you’ve got to ask these questions in a confident
and fun way, and not do it out of fear or frustration. If
you do, the man will respond to you in an entirely
different and negative way that will often cause him to
withdraw or become irritated. But doing it right will
consciously and unconsciously force a man to see that
you’re not waiting for him to choose you and that you
expect certain standards of behavior.
Be careful, by the way, when you first start to take
more control of your decisions about dating and love by
avoiding convincing behaviors and staying positive and
confident. You’ll be sending a strong but subtle message
to a man that lets him know that you’re the one doing the
selecting. Some men have a tough time with this at first
and if you do this in the wrong way it can backfire.
There’s a fine line between confidence and brash behavior
when you’re dealing with new people and qualities, something powerful is communicated to them at
an unconscious level. It demonstrates that you are in
control of your emotions and desires – which is extremely
attractive to a man. You’re showing that you have
ownership of your life and relationships and that you
don’t just fall into anything interesting that comes along.
You also send a signal that you won’t tolerate
behaviors and situations you don’t want in your life. When
you start things with a man and he sees selective signals
from you, it helps you avoid all kinds of painful behavior
and situations with men that other women get stuck with
and can’t “fix”.
The most important thing about letting a man know
that you’re doing the choosing is that when it’s
communicated in the right way, it triggers a response
deep inside a man I call the “Honest Woman Response”,
which is short for the old saying, “make an honest woman
of her”.
When this happens, a man will often go from seeing
the woman as a semi-casual partner to seeing her as
someone that he KNOWS he would want to make a future
with - and that if he messes things up he’s an IDIOT. It’s
like a new respect is immediately formed and the man
instantly places more value on the woman and the
relationship that’s taking shape.
And if a woman wants to go from a casual
relationship to a committed relationship with a man, the
Honest Woman Response is a pivotal point that should
take place early on with a man if things are to evolve into
a deeper long term relationship.
The Honest Woman Response takes place when a
man recognizes 3 things about a woman:
• That the woman expects him to have certain
aspects (emotional, social, behavior) of his life
together in order for him to be with her.
• That a woman has desirable behavior and
characteristics that signal to him she’s someone
he’d enter a relationship with. In nature, these are
called “honest signals” and we’ll come back to them
in detail later.
• That the women won’t allow a purely physical
relationship to take place, and that she will only
continue with him if he meets certain standards.

Don’t EVER assume that you know what he wants
just because you have a strong “connection” or great
“chemistry”. I’ll talk more specifically about this later, but
if you haven’t talked about a relationship, commitment,
or fidelity with a man, then my advice is to not pretend
that these exist. With lots of men, a connection DOES
NOT automatically add up to wanting a relationship.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve heard women
talk about something they call “chemistry” or a
“connection”. Women use these words to describe a
feeling they have with a man and then choose to attach
all kinds of their own meaning to it, without making sure
the man shares their definition. In this way a connection
becomes a sign to the woman that there’s a long term
implication in the connection - a relationship.
But the men involved on the other side of these
situations don’t always feel the same way. The wiring
men have inside doesn’t necessarily tie together that
physical and chemical attraction with deeper long term
bonding elements so quickly like most women.
Men have a range of behaviors and responses with
women they’re attracted to. Women are generally great
at reading these attraction signals. Unfortunately, women
aren’t good with two important skills:
• Identifying if he’s truly a quality future mate
(above and beyond the “connection)
• Deciphering whether or not the attraction’s energy,
interactions, conversations, behaviors, and the
mutual interests between the man and women can
develop into a foundation for a strong relationship.
There’s a common thread to a large majority of the
situations where women find they’re in a relationship with
the “wrong” guy when the guy cheats on them, dumps
them, or disappoints them because he won’t commit to
what they’re after. It’s that the “connection” or
“chemistry” was the only functioning thing the man and
woman had in common.
In other words, other than the connection, there
weren’t any other shared interests, values, or
communication that spelled a good future together.

I’ve even seen it where after dating for a brief time,
some women begin to enjoy the thought or idea of being
around the man they’re with more than actually being
with him. The connection and attraction was really all
there was, but the woman is still holding on tight and
won’t let go of all the meaning she has put into the
connection.
Crazy but true.
I read an interesting article that talks about a
fascinating concept of what humans go through when
they’re falling for someone and experiencing a strong
connection.
The article talked about how newly smitten lovers
often idealize their partner by exaggerating the virtues
they see in them and rationalize or minimize all the flaws
their partner might have. You might hear women going
through this by saying things like:
“He’s the most hilarious person I’ve ever met.”
“He’s moody because of what someone else did to
him, or because his work is stressful right now.”
It’s often referred to as the “pink lens” effect in the
psychology world. And lots of leading researchers in
psychology studying emotion and love have seen how it’s
common for people, especially women, to think that their
situation is deeper, more special, and stronger than
anyone else’s.

It’s EASY to fall for a guy just because you have a
connection with him. All it takes is the right timing and
being open to it. The “pink lenses” will do the rest.
But it’s HARD to fall for a guy because you have a
connection with him AND you’ve learned that he’ll be
honest, have integrity, communicate well, and share a
desire for a committed relationship.
So what does this mean? Well, it means that you’ve
got to avoid the temptation of giving into the connection
and hold out for a whole lot more from a man if you want
to give yourself the best chance of things working out in
the long run. (I’ll talk about specific ways to do this later
on in the section on behavior and setting up a
relationship)

Players And Other Negative Traps
Let’s dig a little deeper into the male mind.
Have you ever been swept off your feet by a man
that you just met, only to learn days or weeks later that
he wasn’t as interested in being with you as you were led
to believe?
Some men view picking up women as a sort of
game. (Sad, but true) They talk and brag about women
with each other and describe the way they meet and
attract women. Others have pick-up lines, routines, gags,
tricks, and attitudes they use in order to take on a
persona they believe will be more attractive to women.
Maybe you’ve overheard some men talking this way. And
maybe you’ve even heard men you know or men you’ve
dated talk this way.
If you’re friends with any “Players”, or if you’ve ever
had the unfortunate experience of trying to date a
hopeless Player, then you know what I’m talking about.
There are three different types of Players…
First there are the “Ego-Driven” Players. These are
the guys who want or need attention from multiple
women because it feeds their ego and makes them feel
better about themselves. They aren’t necessarily bad
guys, but they’re shameless flirts that usually don’t know
any better than to live their lives seeking approval and
validation from more and more women. They often
connect deeply with women right off the bat and because
women feed on this, women will tend to share more of
their private thoughts, feelings, etc.
Second are the “Social” Players. These are the guys
who make a career out of learning how to pick up women
and it becomes their favorite evening past-time. You’ll
find them out partying all the time, always going
somewhere, always having a woman to call and never
spending a weekend evening at home. They tend to
congregate with other Players like themselves who are
out to meet new women.
Finally, there are the “Physical” Players. These guys
are seeking something purely physical from a woman and
don’t have much else on their mind. They’re often the
more sensual and artistic types and charm women with
their body language and their ability to make a woman
comfortable with intimate contact soon after they meet.
Anyways, a few years ago I noticed something
FASCINATING about the guys that women think of as
“Players”. Ever since I’ve been old enough to go out to
the places where men and women meet (bars, clubs,
restaurants, museums, parties, etc.) I’ve seen men who
are good looking, attractive, entertaining, powerful, etc.
attract women regardless of their intentions.
These guys represent a certain dilemma for women
because of the ATTRACTION women feel for them and
what I call the guys’ “RELATIONSHIP POTENTIAL”.

Here’s the inside dirt on players. Men who are into
picking up women do it because the challenge of picking
up a woman validates their intense need to feel
important, powerful, and attractive. They are NOT looking
to settle down, they don’t care about the woman they’re
with, and they don’t want a relationship with any woman
no matter how cool or beautiful she is. The excitement of
the search for women, the challenge of picking up new
women, and the instant gratification these men get is all
they’re after.

When a man is in-congruent, it basically means that
he’s not in touch with himself enough to be consistent
and genuine in dealing with what’s going on inside his
mind, body, and spirit. He’s focused on the physical
aspects and he lacks balance. He’s basically not in touch
with himself and his feelings - just his sexual desires and
his own selfish impulses. With the lack of integration
between his values and his feelings there’s no way he’s
ever going to be in touch with you and your feelings.

People have a few major attraction triggers. A few of
the big ones are wanting what you can’t have (most
people want what people tell them they can’t have) and
wanting what you don’t really understand (people feel
they have to find out for themselves).
Fame, power, and money touch all kinds of
attraction buttons in us. I call these the “Three Masks”
because the men who have these don’t necessarily have
strong personal characteristics that make them a good
match for a woman. But these men can be very attractive
because of the attraction buttons they push. A man can
have fame, power, or money no matter what kind of a
person he is.

emotional connections are not a bad thing, but don't allow them to become attachments, otherwise you'll drive most good guys away.

At this point you might be thinking “Why should I do
all this work when it’s men that have the big issues and
commitment fears that keep me from having the
relationship I want?”.
Well, I separate people into two groups: the ones
who blame everything on other people and the ones who
take responsibility for what happens in their life.

Internal States
Let’s do some important work to address the idea of
your “states”. By “state” I mean the feeling that you have
in your body.
Can you remember a time when you felt happy and
excited?
Can you remember a time when you felt powerful
and energetic?
If you can, then you can HAVE THESE FEELINGS ANY
TIME YOU WANT THEM. Most people don't use their
memories to help them feel good because they say "Well,
that's not really how I'm feeling, I'm just imagining it."
Well, I have news for you: You're ALWAYS just imagining
it. You might as well imagine it at times when you need it
instead of having it happen accidentally!
Here's how to do this:
Write down three positive states that you'd like to be
able to put yourself into anytime you'd like. Then, write
down three instances in your life when you felt each of
those states. Finally, close your eyes, and imagine
yourself in each of the three situations that made you feel
the state that you want, and do SOMETHING UNIQUE
with your body as you're remembering.
For instance, if you'd like to feel powerful and
confident, recall an event that made you feel this way,
then as you’re remembering the situation, breath out
quickly while puckering your lips. If you do this process of
remembering the states and breathing out quickly at the
same time, all you have to do in the future is close your
eyes, breath out quickly while remembering these
feelings, and you'll have the states that you want. It's like
having a push button for feeling good on your body.
Next, you have to practice putting yourself into your
three powerful states when you're in various
environments. So go to different places, and practice
getting yourself into your states with distractions, etc.
This might take some doing, but once you have it
mastered, you'll be able to get yourself into a positive
state when you're not feeling it to begin with (Could this
be useful when you're feeling upset, afraid, unhappy or
frustrated? Maybe…)

I call this negative female stereotype the “Helpless
Woman Myth”. You can see it when you hear men talk
about women and relationships – they have this negative
tone and subtly imply that women are clingy and seek
security through men. And with relationships, men talk to
their guy friends as though a woman will be taking
something away from him if he goes out with her or
commits. It’s as though the man will somehow lose his all
control, freedom, and masculinity.
What I’ve discovered from my studies is that these
men are threatened by a woman’s emotional awareness
and the ability to attune to people’s emotions and
empathize on a very basic human level. Women have a
natural skill, intuition, and intelligence that give them an
amazing capacity for love and caring. Men, more often,
lack these natural abilities and the tools to be more
emotionally aware. Instead, some men put down and
ridicule the emotional world women see and experience
because these men can’t comprehend a woman’s
emotional state.
Since men surely don’t hold the upper hand with
intelligence in the emotional and intuitive world, the
entire thing is sometimes cast down as a second hand
and inferior strength. In fact, emotional strength has
been spun into what men perceive as a weakness. Men’s
perceptions on the importance and value of emotions and
relationships has been deeply instilled in them through
evolutionary biology, fed to them through our culture,
pushed on them by male peers, and even reinforced
through religion.

I don’t mean to get too far out, but I think that if
women can better understand that men have a
completely different emotional “tool set”, women will be
much better prepared to deal with their interactions with
men.
So ask yourself some important questions:
What are my beliefs about the values and strengths
of my emotional experience?
How do men perceive me and my emotional
strengths and weaknesses?
Do my emotional strengths create conflict with men?
Would men respond better to my emotional
strengths and beliefs if I was to “translate” them in such
a way that communicates in a simpler way with how men
behave and communicate on a day-to-day level?
Whatever your answers are, you need to make
yourself a promise right now:
No man will make you feel bad about feeling how
you feel or about your wanting what you want. Fear is
your biggest enemy when it comes to men, dating, and
relationships.
If you stand your ground and simply be who you are,
and make no apologies for it while you’re calmly but
assertively expressing your desire, then men will respect
you and admire you for it. But if you approach a man with
your beliefs in a way that says you’re trying to convince
him of your beliefs or get him to see how he’s wrong and
you’re right, then a man will resist you at every step.

So… You HAVE to be selective!
For women, being selective is nature’s BEST way of
helping acquire the right relationship, at the right time,
and with the right man.
So you have to get tough. Be willing to say “No” to
men who don’t measure up, and be willing to do this
EARLY ON and QUICKLY when dating.
Feel free to date all you want, since you DON’T have
to get too attached, you don’t have to be physically
intimate, and you don’t have to keep going out with
anyone who doesn’t want what you want.
But some women think that being this way makes
them too “bitchy”. For whatever reason they have a hard
time being totally honest about where they’re at and how
they view someone else’s behavior.
It’s completely normal to feel this way.
Since birth everyone around us has been drilling into
our minds through manners, etc that it’s just “not nice” to
be completely honest about other peoples behavior.
Honesty is one of the most liberating and valuable
traits to develop - and it’s even more valuable when
you’re dating.
It’s OK to be a woman. It’s OK to want what you
want and let him know it. It’s OK to tell a man that his
behavior doesn’t match with what you want. In fact,
doing these EXACT things will make you more attractive
to men. The amazing thing is that men crave honest
women who are up front about who they are and what
they want in relationships. That’s just how attraction and
psychology works.

But you’ve just got to know the right way to
communicate these things without going over the top.
There’s all kinds of great information and ideas out
there on powerful communication and the freedom that
comes from more “emotional” honesty. Check out the
book “Radical Honesty” by Brad Blanton, Ph. D. This is a
great book about the power of honesty and how to use it
in your daily life. Another book that is more directly
applied to women and dating is called “Men Like Women
Who Like Themselves” by Carter and Sokol.
If you’re honest and up front about what you want
and expect from a man, in a way that says you’re not too
attached to the immediate situation with him and the
outcome, it can have an EXTREMELY POWERFUL EFFECT.
The man will unconsciously recognize that YOU are the
one doing the choosing and selecting. (Remember the
“natural” process and triggers we talked about before?)
When a man senses this, be ready for his attraction
toward you to be instantly dialed up several levels. But
remember, you can’t fake it. You have to be in a place
where you truly believe in your happiness and in your
ability to achieve your desires and have what you want
come to fruition in your life, without having to push too
hard for it.
Remember: Long-term is better than the immediate
gratification of the short term relationship. Be patient and
be selective.

It’s helpful to think that creating a relationship with a
man is like inflating a balloon. You can’t see what the
balloon will look like when it’s full or exactly how it will
expand in the beginning. So if you want the balloon to be
big and beautiful, you’ve got to start with the right one.
You can’t pick up a little party balloon, then start inflating
it and be upset when it isn’t a hot-air balloon you can fly
away on.
If you want to make sure the balloon doesn’t burst,
then before you start filling up your balloon, you’ve got to
get an idea of how much air you can put into it, and how
quickly. If you go too fast or add too much air all at once,
the entire balloon will explode. Balloons need to stretch
and adjust as they take on new larger shapes.
If you have the wrong balloon, it won’t ever become
what you want it to become no matter how you try to fill
it up.

The tell-tale signs of the “He-Owes-Me-My-Ideal-
Relationship” relationship approach are:
• Assuming That What You Want Is What He Wants -
When the woman feels such an amazing connection
with a man, she assumes he’ll want all the same
things she wants. Then the woman’s assumptions
become so strong and real that they become
beliefs – and anything differing from how they see
things should be is unacceptable.
• Hiding Unspoken Expectations - Women often come
into a relationship with a strong idea of what they
want and where things should go. But lots of
women don’t share these expectations with the
man because they either don’t know how, or they
are afraid they’ll scare the man off.

With most men, you feel like you have to drag things
out of them. Keeping a relationship going is tough work.
Men usually communicate using indirect signals.
Let’s say you’re talking to a guy about a
commitment. If he says something like:
“I don’t know what I want.”
This is “guy speak” for “I’m not seriously interested
in a relationship right now”.
If a guy DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS, he
generally DOESN’T WANT WHAT HE’S GOT.
Lots of women ignore this principle. When men
avoid, deny, react with anger, or play dumb, they’re
communicating with indirect signals that they aren’t on
the same page with you. If you ignore, resist or try to
overcompensate when you approach a relationship with a
man, you’ll NEVER see the important signals he’s giving
you and you’ll never figure out how to make it work.
 
 
rainbow_day_glo
07 September 2009 @ 09:19 pm
It wasn't a COMPLETE fail.
I mean we did have a good time listening to music ie. the radio and Clay Aiken and MJ CDS XD and eating on Millie's front porch.
Not to mention that Chrisie was there as well.
Even though I only sold one thing.
But we did make around $2. XD

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